Thursday, June 13, 2013

Procrastination: A Haiku. I'll Finish it Later

I've been very busy lately avoiding responsibility and keeping up with important tasks such as writing ridiculous things here for all of you to enjoy. Please be patient, because I'll be posting a bunch of new stuff very soon. But in the meantime, I feel like I owe you an explanation. 

There are several factors currently slowing down my progress and I've been working feverishly to minimize them. Unfortunately due to my dysfunctional upbringing, I am largely incapable of regulating, managing or moderating anything, and so these distractions will probably just have to run their natural course. 

I've been road tripping.
In most places when the weather is really nice, you go outside and enjoy the day and frolic in the sunshine. When the mercury rises in Philadelphia however, the violent crime goes with it and you get stabbed in the neck while waiting in line for frozen custard. 

Therefore I like to leave Gotham behind and head to little, safe, quaint towns to relax. Towns where old ladies in Scandinavian sweater jackets serve me homemade chowder in bowls with crab claw handles. Towns where crystal fairy and wizard supply stores can stay in business for decades. Towns where there is at least one alpaca festival per year. 

I've been scooter shopping.
I've never ridden a scooter before, but I love the idea of one, and so I'd like to see what happens if I get one. I'm not entirely sure what is motivating my myopic desire, but it won't release its vintage Euro grip on me until I have one. Everything else in my life has taken a backseat to my online research of the best type/brand/style/model to own in the entire scooterverse. And yes, it's very exhausting to be this obsessive. And no, I can't even afford one. 

I've been reading.
I stopped reading inexplicably a few years ago and have been very upset about it. I used to read everything all the time, but lately it seems all I can get through are magazine articles (and scooter reviews.) I suspect the internet has been quietly and efficiently dismantling my favorite cerebral hobby over the years, and I've wholeheartedly decided to fight back by cracking open a few actual printed books and diving right in. If you're eyeing your shelf now, I highly recommend dusting one off. It's great to be back. 

I've been visiting haunted places.  
I've been trying to see a goddamned ghost all my life and have been rewarded with nothing but futility. We all have those friends who love to share their outlandish stories of how they saw, spoke with, touched, or did the dishes with a ghost. (I actually do have a sane, sober friend who claimed a ghost washed all of her dishes right in front of her.)  Well I want my own ridiculous tale to tell and I won't quit until I find it. 

I've been to old creaky ships, dark weathered inns, abandoned penitentiaries, crumbling military forts and forlorn mental institutions. Not once has a murdered prostitute, a drowned sailor or a mysterious turn-of-the-century orphan appeared in a foggy window or at the end of a musty hallway. NOT cool ghosts. I've been putting in the work.

So hopefully you can see I've been really busy. I also work a regular job doing everyday jobby things for the jobman. That takes up a little bit of my time too. Oh, and I have a wife. She requires regular attention, (and sunlight and water) as well. I promise to be as active as possible here throughout the summer. Let's aim for at least one post per week. Later on I might even fix a day, (probably Thursdays) for new posts. Thank you all for your support. 

Keep hope alive. 

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