If you've read anything about Mexico in the last decade or so, you know they have a knack for two things: cramming into minivans and lopping off tourist's heads. A rather unusual skill set pairing, but one with rather dynamic advantages in a wide variety of situations.
So, if you happen to hear about a puffy, furry, pasty-white bald man and his beautiful companion being kidnapped for ransom in the next week or two, please send all donations to:
Insane Italian Abduction Payoff Fund
PO BOX 115 Kittanning, PA 16201
Once again, thank you for all your support. And by support I mean visiting my site occasionally by accident. I can't tell you how much it means to me. And if I don't get snatched up by a cartel hunting for soft, sunburned drunkards in silk, maraca-print shirts, I'll be right back here next week with a whole new batch of fresh nonsense for your enjoyment. Adios!