Sitting Down With Jersey Shore Juice Bar Employee, Breeana Norton

CC: Joining me this afternoon for the Sit Down is high school senior, Jersey native and assistant manager of Surf Blendz Juice & Smoothies in Sea Isle City, Breeana Norton. Hey Breeana, how are you doing?

Bree: Pretty good. I spell my name with a Y, two N's and an H by the way. 

CC: Well we're not going to do that today Bree, because that's retarded. What we will do is figure out what happened when I came in to have lunch yesterday.  

Bree: Um okay, I don't think I remember you. Were you the guy who was all like 'RRAHH RHARR! Where's my friggin blueberry boost?!?' all red and sweating and everything? No, wait, that was my boyfriend. Who are you again?

Summer in the City

Sea Isle City that is. It's where I'm headed for the week. For those of you who don't know, Sea Isle City is a tiny little speck of a shore town in Cape May County, New Jersey. It's inhabited mostly by families with young children and shiny guidos with hairless, sculpted muscles. My mission for the week is simple: eat crab, drink rum, pretend to be 20 years younger. My wife's mission is similar, but much more difficult. She'll be eating oysters, drinking sangria and searching deep inside her soul for what it was that initially attracted her to the sunburned albino walrus with a hairy chest who just tore his Achilles tendon trying to dive over a child's sandcastle to catch a frisbee.