Fact: Founded in 1859, the Philadelphia Zoo was the first zoo in the country.
Bonus Fact: Today, most of its 1300 animals can be seen selling pirated DVD's, counterfeit sneakers and liquid angel dust along East Market Street from 12th to 7th Avenue.
Fact: Founded by Ben Franklin, the nation's first hospital opened here in 1751 and is now considered one of the best in the United States.
Bonus Fact: Widely regarded as a leader in bariatric medicine, Pennsylvania Hospital surgically removes over 33 million pounds of provolone and roasted pork fat from its patients every year. Resourcefully, most of it is melted down into fuel used to power the Yuengling brewery.
Fact: At 548 ft, Philadelphia City Hall is the tallest municipal building in the world.
Bonus Fact: This includes the nearly 40 ft tall statue of William Penn atop the central tower which is where most Philadelphians think Rocky Balboa's should be instead.
Fact: The Philadelphia Mint produces over 30 million coins per day.
Bonus Fact: That's roughly the same number of residents who are shot in the face each year for no reason, which is interesting.
Fact: Famous for its cheeses, breads, sausages and sandwiches, The 9th St is the oldest outdoor market in America.
Bonus Fact: Today there is only one Italian guy left and he sells pasta and auto insurance from a stand about half way down in between the Vietnamese turtle meat pushcart, but right before the Mexican lady selling fake socks. If you walk past the Korean live poultry truck, you've gone too far.
Fact: Betsy Ross sewed the first ever American flag in a house at 239 Arch Street, which is now a museum.
Bonus Fact: Betsy Ross didn't sew shit. Evidence showing she had anything to do with designing or creating our flag has never been found. Also the Liberty Bell became famous by a fictional short story about something that never happened. And the French actually won the Revolutionary War for us. If you're ever in town, skip the tours. Instead, head straight to an Eagles game and get your domestic violence on.