- Inform the public about political efforts, charitable causes and social injustices. Solicit donations, support and volunteers whenever possible.
Primary Duties
- Stand within inches of illegally blocking the entrance of Whole Foods and attempt to make contact with every human being walking by, regardless of their defensive body language and obvious disdain for your presence.
- Begin every intercept with a carefully crafted question or phrase designed to stir up a creamy broth of guilt, remorse and self-doubt within the target. Plant the heavy seed of encumbrance inside their soul and let it sprout its shameful pangs of conscience in their brains for the rest of the afternoon.
"Do you have a minute to save a baby from being raped?"
"Do you care about anyone who has cancer?"
"If you don't stop, a gay teenager might be beaten with a coal shovel."
These are some great opening examples. Of course, adding your own personal touches
is always encouraged.
