Word on the Street: Apocalypse 2012

The Mayans said the world will end tomorrow, December 21. They also said humans were made of corn. I'm hoping they were just as bad at math as biology. If this week ends with an Apocalypse, I'll be upset for several reasons. For starters, my work Christmas party is that evening and I'm really looking forward to discovering the identity of the secret alcoholic at my new job. There's always at least one of them, and if there's ever a perfect occasion to spot them, this is it.

I think it's Helen from HR. She's a bit scatterbrained, has that rosy red nose, and is usually a few minutes late to meetings. Also, maintenance has found her several times sleeping naked in a puddle of diarrhea in the cafeteria bathroom. So we'll see. It could be Jerry the security guard though. He's always saying things like "I wish I was drunk." and "Can't wait to get wasted tonight" and "I'll fucking kill you if you say anything about my drinking problem."  I don't know, it will be interesting to find out.