I think we can all agree the missing plane fiasco has gone on way too long. Obviously the searchers have been focusing their efforts in all the wrong places, and it's about time I set the record straight. If given the chance, I'm almost certain I could pinpoint the location of the airliner, but unfortunately nobody will give me the time of day. I've emailed the Malaysian Prime Minister, several Australian Admirals and even my cousin TJ from Houston who's dating a chick in the Coast Guard. None of them have responded.
I just read a Yahoo Shine article written by a sixteen-year-old eighth grader from Kansas that said nearly 90% of people who make New Year's resolutions completely give up on them after about sixty days. Although the same author once wrote that regular consumption of bananas would give people cat-like night vision, I do agree with her here. I think sixty days is even pushing it. I gave up on my resolutions (to not lie to children or set anything that wasn't mine on fire) in less than 24 hours. Actually knocked them both out simultaneously. Anyway, let's check and see how others have managed with their own self-improvement goals.
